On Writing Smut and Spice

Alexa play Child of the World by Falz

When it comes to writing sex scenes, I used to be really really shy.

This is funny because as an avid romance reader, I can read smutty scenes anywhere, under any condition, and with the most stoic expression. You’ll literally have no clue unless you peep into the book I’m reading.

Fun Fact: My mom actually bought me my first smutty romance novel. I’m sure she had no idea what kind of book it was. She probably just read the blurb at the back and went, “oh, my daughter will like this book” and she bought it.

It was a Harlequin romance novel. Though I can no longer remember the title or the storyline, but I still remember how the book smelt and how much I enjoyed reading it and the feelings I felt.

Before then, I didn’t know that such books existed. It was my first time seeing sex described so explicitly in print. And I tell you, I was amazed. And down the rabbit hole of Harlequin romance books I went. And now almost two decades later, I’m a romance and fantasy author myself.

Looking back, I had a really beautiful experience reading romance as a teenager. I even used to exchange books with my literature teacher back then. Fun times, really.

Recently, I was reading one of my books, Love Like Morning Dew, and when I got to the sex scene (this book has just one spicy scene because it’s short and easy to read), I had this big cheesy smile on my face.

Like, girl, did you write that?

I hardly read my books again after they are published except I need to pick out excerpts for promos or remind myself of something when writing a sequel. The funny thing is I have written other books with spicier scenes after this one.

But this one still made me smile because I remember how much I struggled to write it, considering how beautiful it turned out.

It wasn’t until I started taking my writing career seriously did I come to learn that writing sex scenes did not come to me as easily as reading them did.

Back then, I used to be so self-conscious. I couldn’t write sex scenes around people. It’s like listening to The Weekend songs with earpiece or headphones and still feeling conscious that people maybe hearing what you are listening to.

All these was because I started writing seriously when I was just getting out of the shell of teenagehood and so many things still felt like taboos to me. Like I shouldn’t be doing or writing them.

The thing is when I start a new story I don’t usually start with the intention of including sex scenes, I usually let my characters dictate what they want to do (pun intended). The only exception to this is Magic at Midnight. I started that out with the intention to make it an erotic story.

All these shyness was before I became a child of the world sha.

My mind runs wilder now. I’m always thinking of new ways to experiment with my characters.

Though, I still cannot write sex scenes with people around, not because it still feels like a taboo but because I like to demonstrate gestures and emotional actions and stuff to see how it looks before writing it.

And I’m not about to let people label me a “mad woman.” My husband will try sha because we must demonstrate.

In all, this is a testament to my growth that I’m now a lot more comfortable writing spicy scenes. I’m more comfortable asking people who are willing to share, the kind of smutty scenes they consider realistic, what they would like to see more in romance books.

And most importantly, I’m now comfortable asking myself what I would like to see more in romance books.