Round Pegs Are Not Meant for Square Holes

“Aminat, this thing isn’t worth it, you will just have to do something else that isn’t determined to wreck your mental health.”

You know how there are two categories of people who stubbornly go after what they want against family wishes - the ones who blow, and the ones who don’t, and get told, “I told you so.”

Guess which category I fall into.

I’m pausing here for effect.

Whatever your guess is, you are right.

In 2023, I almost gave up on writing. Now, this was not one of those times when I go, “oh, I’m not doing this again” and five minutes later, I’m going hard at it. This time, the realization that writing might not work b**ch slapped me in the face, hard.

You know how as a child, you beg and cry for them to let you do the dishes, then you become a teenager and washing plates becomes your duty, but now, you absolutely hate it. That was what writing felt like to me - a chore I no longer enjoyed. That scared and hurt me the most.

I said to myself, “Aminat, this thing isn’t worth it, you will just have to do something else that isn’t determined to wreck your mental health.”

And then the big question, what do I do, if not writing?

All I know how to do is write. Go back to the Law career I abandoned? Even I had a laugh at that one. In Yoruba, we say bota kin se ounje obo, loosely translated to mean, butter is not a monkey’s food. I cannot thrive in Law, round pegs are not meant for square holes. I know where I belong, I just have to find a way to enjoy writing again.

Photo by RF._.studio: https://www.pexels.com/photo/photo-of-woman-holding-a-pen-3059687/

Another question - Why did writing become so hard?

The answer without mincing words is because I started chasing money. I spent my time writing for other people because it pays more. This made me creatively drained when I try to write my own. And when I do get the small energy to write, my entire mind is preoccupied with writing in way that will make money - “oh, what should I write that people want to read? How do I get people to read my book? Will people even want to read this book, ati bebe lo.

All of these things, I tell you, destroys creativity.

So, what did I do about it?

I took a break. Put a hold on all my writing projects, took a break from social media because I wasn’t about to let myself be intimidated by other authors releasing new books. During my break, I read good books, watched movies, binged watched kdramas. I absolutely did not think of writing at all. It was supposed to be for three months. I lasted all of two weeks, before new story ideas started nagging at me. But I stayed true and did not write.

Then I started getting positive reviews on Amber Fire. This is a story I truly enjoyed writing and the joy I felt writing it certainly passed on to my readers. I said to myself, “I want to feel that again.”

My goal now, is to pass on joy to my readers. So, it’s safe to say Amber Fire saved my writing career.

How am I enjoying writing again?

First things first, I no longer ghostwrite fiction or any other type of nonfiction besides memoirs. I have also decided to write when I’m writing and promote when I’m publishing. I am also keeping my social media usage to a minimum. And most importantly, I’m focusing on writing things that make me happy, stories I would jump at to read if I didn’t write them.

I will also not be biting more than I can chew, never again in this life will I let myself be so overwhelmed. Therefore, I have set my first quarter career goals, divided into writing and building community.

In the spirit of gratitude, I have to say, that 2023 wasn’t all that bad, even though it showed me shege. I published Magic at Midnight and Amber Fire. I made tremendous progress on A Crossfire of Hearts and I even hosted my first author panel discussion.

For me, 2024 is about staying positively productive in my lane, trying new things and staying happy.

Happy New Year, my people. I wish you all the best this year has to offer.

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I’m announcing a brand new addition to my Substack publication: LoveNotes From Aminat subscriber chat.

This is a conversation space in the Substack app that I set up exclusively for my subscribers — kind of like a group chat or live hangout. I’ll post short prompts, thoughts, and updates that come my way, and you can jump into the discussion.

To join you need to subscribe to my Newsletter and download the Substack app, now available for both iOS and Android. Chats are sent via the app, not email, so turn on push notifications so you don’t miss conversation as it happens.

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How to get started

1. Download the app by clicking this link or the button below. Substack Chat is now available on both iOS and Android.

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